I am a woman

I am a woman

Since ages and beyond time

I have endured innumerable torment

Making my heart sore

Always carrying exhaustive load

With determined dignity

And a composed smile on my lips.

I am a woman

Who has birthed humanity?

Carrying heartbeats 

Effortlessly in my womb

And enduring immense pain

During the birth of those beats.

I am a woman

who has been tormented

To the brim

 filling up oceans with tears

Sometimes hyper-used to fulfill

Wild, carnal desires and lusts

And sometimes sold in markets

For the same.

I am a woman

 Occasionally worn

 As an adornment for men

Who pride themselves

About bestowing

 Honor and veneration

To me

So that I can walk

On earth with dignity.

I am a woman

Often at the merciless mercy of men

Who  boast of how they protect

And provide shelter to me

And safeguard me

The same being who has shielded

These men in my  womb

When they could barely whisper.

I am a woman

Since generations

Bent and haggard

Under the weight of

Monumental expectations

To carry out every maneuver

With flawless perfection.

I am a woman

 Sometimes explosively

Forced to become the epitome

 Of sainthood

And elevated to a pedestal

I can barely stand on.

I am a woman

Whose minuscule mistakes

Can become a heavy sin to atone for

When judged under the microscopic eyes

Of Male vanity.

I am a woman

Sometimes hit and abused

Both verbally and physically

By hollow, ruthless men

Who love to take advantage

 Of my frail fragility

 And a pining, loving heart.

I am a woman

Who has even endured

Becoming a puppet-doll

 In the savage hands of men

Who play with my emotions

For their vicious amusement.

I am a woman

 I  cry my silent tears

Hidden away from cruel gaze

In the darkest of dark nights

Emotionally exausted, empty and alone

And wake up with stoic resolve

The next day …

To pretend and smile

And laugh and nurse egos

And kiss away hurt

And care and tend and cajole and entertain

And work and be selfless

And give and give and give and give……

PainpoetryWoman

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Encounter with Righteousness

So today while taking a walk around our neighborhood, we came across this gardener who was a mowing a lawn in front of a house, a few blocks away from ours.

Since we needed some work done for our own lawn, we got chatting with this guy who was Mexican.

What he told us amazed me and warmed my heart. He was mowing the lawn for an old lady who had died 3 weeks ago! This lady used to live alone in the house and had been a cancer survivor until her cancer relapsed 2 years back and then metastasized ultimately leading to her death. There was no one in the house anymore.

Yet this man was coming regularly to mow her lawn because she had already paid him until this week.

He could  very well have never showed up and taken up other jobs to make more money instead of mowing the lawn of a place where no one was living anymore. But it was a matter of integrity for him. Since he had already taken that particular amount of money for work till the end of this week, he considered it his duty to complete his job and not leave it half-way. He was a man of honor and dignity.

How few do we find such people nowadays!

He went on to say-” I had worked for this old lady for years. I still feel her presence around this place.”

After finding out, that he did little more than lawn mowing and no landscaping, we moved ahead.

The day was bright and beautiful. Perfect blue skies with floating cotton-candy clouds accompanied by a soothing cool breeze which felt so pleasant on our faces.

Goodness was still alive on planet earth.

Life really felt beautiful.

 

Winds

Wild , eerie winds blow

So adamant to uproot

the stubborn, staunch trees

I toss and turn tonight

Unable to switch-off

Into my world of dreams

The commotion of the unbreakable roars

As the gusty gale hits the leaves

Haunts the darkness of the dark

And the battle of the feral two

Shrieks a chilling scream

The ebb and flow of this savage noise

Makes me restless and raw

Paralyzed out of movement

And kicked out of my sleep

I wait with bated breath

To be interrupted

By the sweet silence I need.

 

 

Little Things….

The little things I live for….

My almost 2 year old’s smiles and laughter.

He has the most adorable, toothy smile in the world…..and also the greatest chuckle of a laughter that ever echoed on planet earth.

His daily shenanigans and naughty mischief make my monotonous, mundane days fill with sparks of excitement and love . Because……he IS love. My little boy is the very metaphor of love.

He wakes me up in the mornings with sweet, tender kisses….and I never taught him that! Then he moves on to pick up my glasses and hair-tie from the side table so that I can be up and about to warm up his bottle of milk. And again, he wasn’t ever trained or asked to do that . Oh, how I live for moments like these! Perhaps it’s TRUE, love can’t be taught. It exudes from one’s being like a blessing of God.

My sweet baby loves to share. He is adamant to share morsels of his food with his mama and abba. Sometimes, if he has forgotten to give us a bite, my little darling takes out the food-bite from his tiny mouth and offers it to us. All I can do is sigh in adoration and thank the Almighty for his innocent, all-encompassing love that has made my life meaningful again.

I delight in seeing his wobbly walk every day and his attempt to run with carefree glee. My sweet, little toddler truly ‘toddles’ around like an adorable penguin and sometimes shifts to a sudden, lightening crawl to catch up with us.

These days he loves to climb too…..everywhere and anywhere……on top of everything and anything. So I have to keep a vigilant eye and watch over him like a hawk so he doesn’t fall and hurt himself. He has also started reaching over countertops, tables and shelves so nothing is off-limits and everything is pulled down to the floor.

His biggest excitement is going out for a stroll with his abba. My son just runs to get his own cap and socks and then offers his abba his cap and shoes. He is always so happy to be outdoors.

And he loves the neighbor’s dogs. Two huge, black dogs that bark a lot. But the barking has never scared my baby one bit. Their sound makes him run to the window and gaze at those huge pets in wonder.

My youngster loves his milk and fruits especially grapes and oranges. He is not much of an eater and I so do wish that I wouldn’t have to run after him to make him eat.

At playtime, he enjoys building blocks. He has learnt to construct amazing towers with his simple blue, red, green and yellow blocks. I feel so proud to witness his attempts at all the little things in life.

He is a determined little fellow and never wanted to hold my hand when he was learning to walk no matter how many times he fell. He would always get up again and continue with the same resolve and will-power.

Now he is steadfast in learning how to eat everything on his own and drink from our cup because I guess his sippy-cup is too “babish” for him.

It’s so difficult to maintain a clean home now. All my pots and pans and storage boxes are on the kitchen floor. How futile it is to even try to keep them inside as they are pulled out immediately again. Clothes lie strewn on the carpeted floor ….yanked out from drawers and closets. Every object is his toy…..and jerking down everything on to the floor is his preferred  game these days.

I love the way my little one salutes with one hand on his head when we ask him to greet elders with “salaam”. How cute is it that he waves bye-bye with both his hands and claps in elation when you show him a trick.

He loves his nursery rhymes- peeka boo and baby shark being his favorite. It’s so much fun to see him dance to baby shark with his fingers in the air and sometimes trying to imitate the steps he sees on tv.

Naturally, like kids of today he already knows how to operate the remote and type gibberish on the cell phone. It’s so endearing to see him swipe the apps on the mobile with his tiny fingers.

Right now as he sleeps beside me all peaceful and content, I can hear his quiet breathing and already miss his hearty laughter.

My home is a mess! Looks like a tornado hit it. I am drained  from running behind him all day.  My limbs ache with  exhaustion and fatigue.

My stamina may have emptied but my heart is full.❤

 

 

 

 

Black lives Matter

He said-” I can’t breathe”

And yet they couldn’t stop

How hardened of heart

Could they be

Who chose not to see

The pain on his face

Who chose not to hear

The gasping for a single breath

The tearing up of his voice

The silent, anguished noise.

 

Just because of the color

That adorned his skin

They chose to discriminate

And flame out venom

mixed with hate

How unfair could humanity be

Bigoted hearts and prejudiced heads

Blinded by insanity.

 

I stand with you

My people of black

Beautiful and bold

Stories of anguish

Unheard and untold

I hear you, I see you

With angst and grief

I too cry with you

Justice for you I seek.

 

Black lives matter

Written in stone they do

We will join hands

And make it true

Down with discrimination

Down with hate

Down with the inequality

That hatred chose to create

Let’s birth a new world

From the ashes of the old

Where love is the power

Inscribed in big and bold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Envision

Petals in a Storm

In that heavenly garden

lost in poetry,

she came and sat just next to me

Engrossed was I

so aloof in my way

But she interjected

“What a beautiful day!”

I looked up to behold

sea-green stars

swirls of shiny marbles

The loveliest eyes thus far…

So transculent in their enchanting depth

you could reach zenith

where secret constellations slept

All shades of  green and grey,

A thousand blues of milky way

The sparkle of winking stars

soft-glow of fireflies

How magnificient in their beauty

were those magical eyes.

@

She looked away

went on to say-

“It rained all night yesterday,

The sunlight is so vibrant now

No filter of pollution looms…

the dew hang pretty on the blooms

The color of grass, so fresh

it’s moisture exotic to taste

Do you smell the scarlet roses on your right?

Inhale the exquisite aroma in flight

Floating birds sound so…

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